Dear Steve and Shirley,
I'm a 36 year old divorced mother of two beautiful daughters. I'm a nurse and I provide for my mother and nephew that both live with me. About 3 years ago I was a victim of domestic violence and left my husband of 7 years. After a tumultuous time my ex is currently in jail for 15-30 years. After taking time to settle my children and myself, I met a man at party for my co-worker. We enjoyed a few dances, cocktails and good laughs. We exchanged numbers and after a week he gave me a call. We started going out and conversing frequently, we both spoke about and agreed that neither of us was ready for a major relationship. He is a wonderful father and very attentive to his daughters. He is also very sensitive and understanding about my past and me being a single mother. As time has progressed my feelings have changed. I want this man in my life. Yes, I know and reflect on the conversation we had previously but I'm in a different place and to be frank, he is not. I know he cares for me just not in the same way. He has not met my children because I am unsure where this is going probably nowhere. Every time I try to walk away I miss him. I have discussed my feelings with him and he responds with the same ole same ole. I care about you and don't want to lose you speech. I've stopped giving him the cookies even though he makes my baby hair curl. I have started to call him less and find myself not taking his calls as often. In my heart I know there is nothing I can do to make him want me but what can I do to move past this? It's been a little over a year since we started dating, how long should I wait? Or should I keep it moving? Love your show, book smart but no common sense.
I am over 50 and settled with a nice guy, well maybe too nice it seems. This girl across the street has befriended me because she is a comfortable friend of my man. Never got the notion that they have been sexual partners but it hints of it. Now, she has brought another woman from the Midwest to live with her with no job, car, money, and apparently no cigaretts because she comes across the street to get smokes from my man. Word around town is she is loose, she works her magic on many men as I have seen for myself, to get what she needs done. She needs to do her and stay across the street with that mess! She is loud especially when she gets drunk and then sweats every man at my function! She is a BBW with a big booty and even a friend of my man's came to a function and thought she was his girlfriend instead of me cause she was under him while bar-b-queing. I have seen her often at gatherings at my house getting a bit too comfy with my man, I accidently rubbing against him, I am not happy when she is around. She often refers to him as baby, honey and it irratates me. My man thinks I am over reacting but a loose woman will do your man too! If not already because he is doing too much for her, store runs, taking to subway, or taking walks in the neighborhood and she demands his attention when she comes to my house. One Valentine's Day she referred to him as her boyfriend too, "we gonna share boyfriends today" NOT! I have since moved out but not because I do not want my man because we are still seeing each other but because he will not protect me from the foolishness with these girls. They know what they are doing, young man with good heart, job, and a house. They are taking advantage of his kindness and I do not want to be a part of their madness. I think she may have done my man, that is why she thinks she is allowed to treat me as if I do not matter when it comes to him. He has since slowed down on having them over and taking her places. But I have moved, who is to say he is not doing that when I am not there, cause he talks to me on the cell a certain way when I think she is around. He is always in a hurry to get me off the phone or sound as if I am irratating him! I am a nice looking woman for my age, still fit, works hard on my books to be out starting a business and many irons in the fire. So I am considering moving on, but the drama of a new man is making me sick just thinking of it. What should I do, besides the obvious? I really want to be with my man.